A Big 12 Fan's Guide to the Sweet 16

The sun has set on basketball at Kansas State University, with the Lady Cats falling short to Missouri in the WNIT tournament last Sunday. It’s always tough to lose to our border war rivals, especially now that those thugs are members of the SEC (south eastern communists). If you’re a geek that doesn’t know about the horrors of the SEC, just know that they are an overrated bunch of rednecks who are overly endorsed by ESPN and John Calapari is probably paying off all of the refs.

I should really quit accusing him of these things. But it's so much fun!

DISCLAIMER: I don’t really think the SEC is evil and full of communists. But come on! During football season ESPN loves those schools like they love Lebron. 

Wake up ESPN! There are other conferences in this country. Namely the Big 12, which is obviously an underrated conference that deserves more respect.

THE BIG 12 DID TERRIBLE IN THE EARLY ROUNDS OF THE NCAA TOURNAMENT!

That’s right, the supposed “toughest conference in college basketball” only has TWO of the SEVEN teams from the Big 12 are still in the tournament. For the sake of our sweet time, we’ll only dwell on each flop for a few brief moment.

TEXAS – to their defense, they had a rough schedule this year. Back in December, they even played the un-beatable Kentucky and only lost by a score of 63-51.

So many great memes in this post... I just can't stop.

But their back and forth conference record drew them an 11 seed in the tournament, where they turned the ball over 15 times against Butler. You can’t choke like that in a tournament game.

Oklahoma State – I’m going to be honest, when it came to Oklahoma State, I still had the ratchet taste of a jerk hole named Marcus Smart in my mouth. But Smart is gone, and running the show for the Cowboys is a white kid named Phil Forte who just doesn’t miss… but it was Le’Bryan Nash, the senior, who dropped 18 against the Ducks. However, when you let Joseph Young score all the points he wants, you’re probably going to lose.

Baylor – The explanation for Baylor’s loss? Baylor gonna Baylor. There’s even a new word now that you should know: Bayloring – the act of getting hyped but failing anyways. At least that’s how I interpret it.

Iowa State – I am shaking my head over this one. I actually started watching this game, and I was like “Yeah, they got this. I’ve watched this team all season. They’re good. They won the Big 12 tournament, the toughest conference in college basketball. No way are they going to lose to some random school from Alabama.” Well, they did it. Fred Hoiberg, I trusted you. You have betrayed me. Georges Niang betrayed me. You all betrayed me. Corn betrayed me. My bracket was wrecked because of you, and I will hold a grudge for at least ten years now.

I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIALLLL!!!

Kansas – Let’s just be honest here, when we saw that the Jayhawks were matched up against Wichita State, we all knew the Shockers were going to kick some major ass. Admit it Jayhawk fans, YOU KNEW IT TOO! It was a building year for Bill Self’s squad. It was the opposite of a building year for Greg Marshall. Fred VanVleet is the best damn point guard in the country. I’m not a WSU bandwagoner, but I love the way that kid plays. Ron Baker went to school 30 miles up the road from me. He is good at basketball or something. I actually use him as a reference when describing where my hometown is.

 “You know Ron Baker and Scott City? Yeah, I’m 30 miles down the road…”

So now that those teams are behind us, let’s take a look at our remaining Big 12 representatives. AND IN THE SWEET 16 THE MATCHUPS WE HAVE ARE AS FOLLOWS:

West Virginia vs Kentucky

Well... it was a good run, Bob Huggins.

Oklahoma vs Michigan State

Lon Kruger vs Tom Izzo, and as Kruger is a former K-State guy, how can you NOT root for the Sooners? I’ll tell you how! When their band plays that damn BOOMER SOONER!

Director: "Okay band! We need to figure out what we're playing next."
Drum Major: "What did we play last?"
Trumpets: "Boomer Sooner!"
Director: "Oh yes, I like that one. Let's play it again!"
Alto Saxes: "But that's twenty times in a row now!"
Director: "ONE MORE TIME!!!!"

 But then I hear the story about Izzo’s two seniors, Brandon Dawson and Travis Trice. Those lead the team, although I’m pretty sure Izzo has to give Dawson a good boot to the ass so he plays like a man. Dawson and Trice don’t want the season end. They want more games. I know those feels. When you’re a senior and you’re playing the game you love, all you want to do is extend the season for as long as possible. Are Buddy Hield and Ryan Spangler up to stop them? Well, based on the Big 12 tournament, Spangler needs to work on his two footers.

Anyways, best of luck to the Big 12 teams. Everyone remember to keep Huggins in your prayers. They are going to need it.

Keep Smiling,

Liz Heath

Want to hear my rants LIVE as the sportsball happens? Or maybe you want to politely tell me to give up on the internet. You can find me on Twitter! @SaxophoneLizard

DISCLAIMER: I borrowed these memes but compiled them in a way that would make them relevant for viewing. So in a way I did you a favor. You're welcome.