Geek's Guide to Bandwagoning

Everyone loves a good Cinderella story, but this year’s Sweet 16 seems to be lacking in that department. The lowest seeded team is No. 11 UCLA (who probably shouldn't have been in the tournament in the first place.) But based on UCLA’s tournament history (11 national championships, 18 Final Four appearances… and you know… John Wooden) it’s still hard to consider them a Cinderella.

Yep... that's... that's a LOT of banners right there.

Either way, this lack of Big 12 teams may lead the weaker of heart to do one of the most horrific sins of sports. You know what I’m talking about… BANDWAGONING!!! If you are bandwagoning on a team, you are Satan and I hate you.

It's rant time.

If you start liking a team simply because they are doing good… fine. BUT if that particular team hits a say… 29 year playoff drought, YOU MUST stick with that team through the bad times in order to qualify celebrating the good times.

There are moments you wait your entire life for, and then there is this
moment, which I literally waited my ENTIRE LIFE FOR!

 You can’t just suddenly reappear when the team starts doing good again!

That’s right, I’m looking at you, supposed “Wichita State Fans.” I know for a fact that half of you could care LESS about the Shockers five years ago, and probably you couldn’t even pronounce Koch Arena correctly, nor did you even truly know what a SHOCKER IS!

 

In your defense... yeah it is a little confusing... and terrifying.

Some of you who know me are probably thinking, “Yeah, but who bandwagoned on Florida Gulf Coast in 2013?” The truth is, that year I did bandwagon on Florida Gulf Coast. In my defense, I was desperate. K-State lost to No. 13 seeded LaSalle that year.

So yes, I rode the Florida Gulf Coast bandwagon. But what’s the difference between me and other bandwagon fans? I’m STILL riding that bandwagon today!! I can tell you that the Eagles were in the College Insider Tournament for the post season this year. They lost in the first round. I still pay attention to them. I follow their Twitter accounts. If they were in a major conference with TV schedules, I would watch them as religiously as I watch the Wildcats.

So if you are going to bandwagon a team, just know that to do it properly, you will end up stuck with them forever. So here is your official Geek's Guide to Bandwagoning checklist:

• Pick a team with colors you actually like. (I am quite fond of blue and green.)
• Carefully select a mascot that is not terrifying. (Eagles are bold and majestic.) 
• Decide if it is a team you would be willing follow, even in their darkest times. (FGCU will return to the Big Dance someday...) 
• Make sure that if you choose to bandwagon on this team, you won't overwhelm yourself based on other teams you are already bandwagoning on. (I am currently bandwagoning on only one team.) 

Go Eagles.

Go Cats.

Keep Smiling,

Liz Heath

I call out people who are bandwagoning on Twitter. @SaxophoneLizard

DISCLAIMER: These memes are used to enhance my blog, not enhance my paycheck. I am just a poor college student. Thank you. 

A Big 12 Fan's Guide to the Sweet 16

The sun has set on basketball at Kansas State University, with the Lady Cats falling short to Missouri in the WNIT tournament last Sunday. It’s always tough to lose to our border war rivals, especially now that those thugs are members of the SEC (south eastern communists). If you’re a geek that doesn’t know about the horrors of the SEC, just know that they are an overrated bunch of rednecks who are overly endorsed by ESPN and John Calapari is probably paying off all of the refs.

I should really quit accusing him of these things. But it's so much fun!

DISCLAIMER: I don’t really think the SEC is evil and full of communists. But come on! During football season ESPN loves those schools like they love Lebron. 

Wake up ESPN! There are other conferences in this country. Namely the Big 12, which is obviously an underrated conference that deserves more respect.

THE BIG 12 DID TERRIBLE IN THE EARLY ROUNDS OF THE NCAA TOURNAMENT!

That’s right, the supposed “toughest conference in college basketball” only has TWO of the SEVEN teams from the Big 12 are still in the tournament. For the sake of our sweet time, we’ll only dwell on each flop for a few brief moment.

TEXAS – to their defense, they had a rough schedule this year. Back in December, they even played the un-beatable Kentucky and only lost by a score of 63-51.

So many great memes in this post... I just can't stop.

But their back and forth conference record drew them an 11 seed in the tournament, where they turned the ball over 15 times against Butler. You can’t choke like that in a tournament game.

Oklahoma State – I’m going to be honest, when it came to Oklahoma State, I still had the ratchet taste of a jerk hole named Marcus Smart in my mouth. But Smart is gone, and running the show for the Cowboys is a white kid named Phil Forte who just doesn’t miss… but it was Le’Bryan Nash, the senior, who dropped 18 against the Ducks. However, when you let Joseph Young score all the points he wants, you’re probably going to lose.

Baylor – The explanation for Baylor’s loss? Baylor gonna Baylor. There’s even a new word now that you should know: Bayloring – the act of getting hyped but failing anyways. At least that’s how I interpret it.

Iowa State – I am shaking my head over this one. I actually started watching this game, and I was like “Yeah, they got this. I’ve watched this team all season. They’re good. They won the Big 12 tournament, the toughest conference in college basketball. No way are they going to lose to some random school from Alabama.” Well, they did it. Fred Hoiberg, I trusted you. You have betrayed me. Georges Niang betrayed me. You all betrayed me. Corn betrayed me. My bracket was wrecked because of you, and I will hold a grudge for at least ten years now.

I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIALLLL!!!

Kansas – Let’s just be honest here, when we saw that the Jayhawks were matched up against Wichita State, we all knew the Shockers were going to kick some major ass. Admit it Jayhawk fans, YOU KNEW IT TOO! It was a building year for Bill Self’s squad. It was the opposite of a building year for Greg Marshall. Fred VanVleet is the best damn point guard in the country. I’m not a WSU bandwagoner, but I love the way that kid plays. Ron Baker went to school 30 miles up the road from me. He is good at basketball or something. I actually use him as a reference when describing where my hometown is.

 “You know Ron Baker and Scott City? Yeah, I’m 30 miles down the road…”

So now that those teams are behind us, let’s take a look at our remaining Big 12 representatives. AND IN THE SWEET 16 THE MATCHUPS WE HAVE ARE AS FOLLOWS:

West Virginia vs Kentucky

Well... it was a good run, Bob Huggins.

Oklahoma vs Michigan State

Lon Kruger vs Tom Izzo, and as Kruger is a former K-State guy, how can you NOT root for the Sooners? I’ll tell you how! When their band plays that damn BOOMER SOONER!

Director: "Okay band! We need to figure out what we're playing next."
Drum Major: "What did we play last?"
Trumpets: "Boomer Sooner!"
Director: "Oh yes, I like that one. Let's play it again!"
Alto Saxes: "But that's twenty times in a row now!"
Director: "ONE MORE TIME!!!!"

 But then I hear the story about Izzo’s two seniors, Brandon Dawson and Travis Trice. Those lead the team, although I’m pretty sure Izzo has to give Dawson a good boot to the ass so he plays like a man. Dawson and Trice don’t want the season end. They want more games. I know those feels. When you’re a senior and you’re playing the game you love, all you want to do is extend the season for as long as possible. Are Buddy Hield and Ryan Spangler up to stop them? Well, based on the Big 12 tournament, Spangler needs to work on his two footers.

Anyways, best of luck to the Big 12 teams. Everyone remember to keep Huggins in your prayers. They are going to need it.

Keep Smiling,

Liz Heath

Want to hear my rants LIVE as the sportsball happens? Or maybe you want to politely tell me to give up on the internet. You can find me on Twitter! @SaxophoneLizard

DISCLAIMER: I borrowed these memes but compiled them in a way that would make them relevant for viewing. So in a way I did you a favor. You're welcome.

Bracketology with Liz

The madness of March is here.

But does it even matter, when our own beloved Wildcats aren’t dancing into the postseason?

For one, if you don’t think the big dance matters just because your team’s not in it, then probably just leave this page now (just kidding, please stay.) For two, THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST SPORTING EVENTS OF THE YEAR SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT.

That being said, a big part of the fun of the NCAA tournament is filling out a bracket BEFORE the tournament begins, and make your own predictions of the outcome in the tournament. If you didn’t accomplish this, much like I didn’t accomplish publishing this blog before the tournament started, don’t worry! You can still complete in many round by round competitions, which takes a lot of pressure off of making your picks.

A slight chance... but a chance. You never know unless you try!

But, for the sake of a good time, let’s assume you could care less about the First Four play in games and are still trying to decide who is going to win it all this year. My advice for filling out a competitive bracket? It’s impossible. No matter how much research you do, no matter how much you know or think you know about the game and the teams, you will end up finishing behind a dumbass who filled out their bracket based on the schools’ mascots.

However, as the tournament hasn’t technically started yet, I might just say now that my bracket is perfect and superior to everyone’s. ESPECIALLY Barrack Obama’s. I’ve beaten Obama in ESPN’s Tournament Challenge for the past three years and this year will be no different.

Thanks Good Advice Duck, but I will probably end up looking like a Jackass
no matter what I do.

The real key to winning bracket challenges is winning the later rounds in the tournament. This seems like a no brainer, and Duke has killed my bracket multiple times by being disappointing, but I’m ready this year. This year, instead of picking winners based on stats and style of play, I picked more on odds and trends. That being said, I’m putting a lot of confidence on Brad Underwood and Stephen F. Austin taking out the Blue Devils in the Sweet 16. Also, Brad Underwood is a K-State guy, so of course I have to root for him.

Let me give you my perspective at some teams with the potential to cut down the nets in Indianapolis:

KENTUCKY

Everyone keeps saying it is Kentucky vs. the field. This is true, but it is also false. It is true because when Kentucky is on their game and John Calipari and William Wesley are paying off the refs (not saying I believe it, but it’s an interesting read. You can find it here.) they are unbeatable. The Harrison twins are nuts. Willie Cauley-Stein, the SEC player of the year, is actually an Olathe Northwest alumni with ties to Spearville according to Kpreps.com.

Yes Dick, we know. We know he's really good. We don't need
to see his damn highlights.

 The only shadow of doubt I have about Kentucky is the fact that they are going into this tournament undefeated.The odds of winning it all after never losing don’t favor the Wildcats. Maybe if Bob Knight threw a chair across the floor I would feel more confident. 

FUN FACT: This was 30 years ago on Feb. 23. Despite a few bumps
and bruises, that chair hasn't aged a bit!

Kentucky WILL fall. I’m to the conclusion that they are either going to win it all, or lose in the first round to Hampton. Or maybe in the Sweet 16 to Valparaiso (one of my underdog picks). I've said this since December, if Kentucky is going to lose, five players AND Calipari himself are going to have to walk into that gym with their heads up their butts. There's no better place to choke then at the big dance.

VILLANOVA

Who the heck are these guys? Nova hasn’t gotten much media attention all year. They didn’t pop up on my radar until around the time of the Big 12 tournament when I was desperately trying to figure how K-State could get back on the bubble (there was no way in hell they could have). However these Wildcats rely pretty heavily on their 3 game, and we all know that tournament nerves can make the outside shooting game suffer. The Wildcats haven’t made it past the second round in the past four years. In fact, I specifically remember picking them as a final four team a few years ago and being incredibly disappointed. If they’re ready to make a run, Josh Hart shoots 46% from three point range, and four players’ average double digits. I picked them to go to the championship game, simply because I know very little about them and the teams I know very little about always manage to mess up my bracket.

VIRGINIA

A year ago, I loved the way Virginia played so much that they were my championship team. Then they lost to Michigan State in the regional final. I only assumed this would happen again, so I have them getting knocked out by the Spartans in the Round of 32. I guess I’m bitter. But maybe they will be a pleasant surprise.

WISCONSIN

My pick to cut down the net in Indiana is the Badgers, simply because the odds of Kentucky being perfect are so slim. Honestly though, it is Wisconsin’s time. They’re pissed, after coming up one point short to Kentucky in the final four last season. I predict an exact repeat, except this time, the Badgers manage to go the extra mile and overcome the favorite Wildcats. You will never run Kentucky down, their bench is just too deep, so taking them down is all about efficiency. Wisconsin is all about efficiency. They don’t make mistakes. They are the well-oiled machine that is going to earn me a ton of money in all the bracket challenges I’m entered in. I’ve got to pay for college somehow.

So these are my unprofessional, minimal researched thoughts on probable National Championship teams. The rest of the field is a tossup, and to be honest the only game I really care about is the possibility of a Wichita State and Kansas matchup in the Round of 32. I can’t wait to see those chicken hawks get spanked by VanVleet and Baker.

But hang in there cat fans! If you’re looking for some post-season hoop action, don’t forget the Lady Wildcats are playing Akron in the first round of the WNIT in Bramlage! The lady cats are 13-3 in the WNIT, and are 4-0 in first round games, winning by 11+ points. But just because you may have never heard of the Akron women’s basketball team doesn’t mean it won’t be a show. Defense will be the name of the game, as Akron is 25^th in the nation in scoring offense. Breanna Lewis block party? I’ll supply the music.

 

DISCLAIMER: This is not actually me.

 Keep Smiling,

Liz Heath

Think I'm funny? Want to send my hate messages? GREAT!

Follow me on Twitter: @SaxophoneLizard 

DISCLAIMER: Big shocker here, I borrowed these images. I don't want any money from this, so it's legal. 

About Me (In case you were wondering)

From the sixth grade up until my sophomore year of high school, I thought I was going to be Division I bound. Maybe it would be K-State and Deb Patterson… maybe I would spend two years playing at a JUCO and THEN it would be K-State and Deb Patterson. Either way, I thought I would end up playing under the lights at Bramlage.

Me desperately trying to cling to my basketball hopes and dreams

It turns out, being a 5’9’’ point guard in class 1A makes it tough to draw the attention of top college scouts. It’s even tougher when you’re only strength is solid defensive fundamentals and the ability to rattle and piss off the opposing team’s best player simply by being obnoxious. Those traits don’t make the stat book, and they don’t get noticed by scouts. Turns out, you actually have to score points and rebound the ball if you want to play at the next level. What a rip.

This picture is the most accurate snapshot of my playing days.
In case you can't tell, I'm the goober in the back ruining the entire picture.

No matter, I still found a way to play under the lights at Bramlage. Instead of basketball, I’m playing an Alto Saxophone… in the Cat Band. Yep, I went from a starter on the varsity squad in high school to an all-out band geek. Not that I wasn’t a band geek in high school, it was just sort of like a side gig. Now, it’s basically my identity. I mean, I was always the odd one on the basketball team, but in band, I fit in. I fit in because EVERYONE is a little odd in band.

As you can tell, in the mass of everyone being super serious
for game day, my own serious personality fits in very well.
Oh wait, I'm the idiot in the back with the giant smile, once again
ruining the entire picture. 

Not that I really mind. I’ve met my best friends in college through the band. And college-level marching band? It’s basically a sport, and if you don’t agree, then get out of my face. I was in track, basketball, and volleyball and I kid you not, the week of band camp is tougher than any sports practice I’ve ever been through.

As you can tell by my facial expressions, I am always very excited
about band practice in the blinding sunlight and radiating heat.

I can’t decide if I did band so I could play my instrument and make friends, or if I did it so I could get into Division I sporting events for free. It was probably a little bit of both. There’s no way I would have gotten to the Big 12 tournament, the Alamo Bowl, or the KU/K-State games without being in band.

I was on the floor for the Big 12 tournament.
The refs heard about every call I disagreed with loud
and clear. (I did not get kicked out) 

Sure, I do the occasional media thing with KSDB, the campus radio station, but more often than not I’m stuck in the studio doing board production.

Not that I really mind. Board Production is actually really fun,
and it prevents me from saying something really stupid on the air.

I might be a huge geek, but I love sports. Every time I see the women’s basketball hype video before every home game, I think to myself: “You know, I could do it. I could walk on. Maybe by the time I’m a senior, I could get four or five minutes a game…”

But then I remember that in college, girls are sometimes over six feet tall. I also remember my greatest achievement in high school was third team all-league my senior year. Finally, I recall the fact that a former JUCO player absolutely ate my lunch in the rec game I played in last night.

I also remember I'm a huge geek.

So my playing days may be over, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t pretend I know what I’m talking about when I talk about sports. This blog is for all those geeks out there who have sat in the pep band section and wondered what the hell was going on out there on the playing field/court. It also might include some hilarious stories from my life, because weird things often happen to me.

Keep smiling,

Liz Heath
Do you think I'm funny? Or maybe you want to politely tell me never to post on a blog again.
You can find me on Twitter! Just follow @SaxophoneLizard